


Step Out

by Vallkyr



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lots of if, M/M, Violence, more characters fandoms and relationships to be added, only a little though, rebels au, some pairings may or may not be only pretend relationshp(s), this really hurts a lot, trust me - Freeform, you'll have to see for yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-01-04 08:05:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18339554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallkyr/pseuds/Vallkyr
Summary: "The attack took place at 3.07 pm. In addition to the changed time, no explosions took place during this attack. Employees and costumers of the bank were put to sleep using a certain gas that is still to be analysed. Although no official statement has been released so far, many see this change in behaviour as a proof that two members have in fact left the terrorist group called 'Stray Kids' after the attack on the department of education. Following the most recent attack more than 20 people, including a highly pregnant women, have been brought into hospital. Their state is still unknown."Chan blankly stares ahead while listening to the news lady's report about his group. Or rather what used to be his group. They are going their own path now. Without him. Without Kkul. And apparently that path includes robbing banks.[-]When the people you trust most leave you to get caught by the special task force hunting you, what else is there to do but finding new allies?





	1. Where am I?

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been working on this since last November and Miroh finally gave me the motivation I needed to edit and upload the first chapter. I have no idea when I will be able to continue but I'll try my best^^

"What is your name?" The investigator demands to know. His voice is stern, without emotion. His face is serious, eyes dead, not a trace of friendliness to be found. Not that it's really surprising. A fist lands in his face, his head being thrown to the side by the impact. “What is your name?” The investigator pronounces every single word on its own, towering over him as he leans down.

 

He struggles against the confines around his wrist, wanting to fight back but only earning himself another blow to the face.

 

“Tell me your name!”

 

"Nine." He almost spits out, he can feel blood dripping from his lip but he doesn’t care. He’s been through worse.

 

The investigator’s eyes narrow, he scowls before taking a deep, warning breath. "Listen, kid," He threatens "if I ask for your name - or anything like that - I want to know your real name. Not this bullshit you made up."

 

“Listen, asshole,” He mimics, grinning at the supressed reaction of the investigator. “I’m not going to tell you anything.”

 

Another blow strikes him to the side, throwing him into the restrictions as his chair almost topples over. The investigator stands upright, his eyes looking down in distaste while he speaks to his men. “Blindfold, gag and bring him to the baths.”

 

[-]

 

He gasps before a harsh breath rips through his body. He feels like he’s suffocating, he knows he isn’t, but his body refuses to believe him. He is heaved upright again, his face still wet and the blindfold still in place. Another harsh breath fills his lungs, his chest moving rapidly, aching with the afford.

 

“What is your name?”

 

The same old question, he has enough of this. His entire body is aching, the bruises in his face, the pain in his stomach where guards decided to take matters into their own hands before bringing him to the baths. It wasn’t exactly pleasant, being held by the arms and never knowing when the next blow would come. He takes another painful breath, tears filling his eyes as he let’s go of his resolve. "Bang Chan." He mumbles, struggling to get the words out.

 

The blindfold is yanked away from his face. The bright light hurts in his eyes. "I can't hear you!" The investigator shouts.

 

"Bang Chan!" Chan repeats, looking up at the investigator through his wet, silver-coloured bangs before lowering his gaze again.

 

"What was your position?"

 

"Leader." He mutters, his body goes limb, falling forward into the restraints holding him back. "I was their leader."

 

[-]

 

"Your name," The investigator asks. "Your real name." He warns.

 

"Kim Woojin. My name in Stray Kids was Kkul." Woojin replies, looking straight at the investigator but not daring to smile. The investigator seems pleased with the ease of it.

 

"How did that name come about?"

 

"Apparently I have a nice singing voice," Now Woojin did smile. Just a little. "The others said it sounds the way honey tastes."

 

The investigator raises a brow. "And that's why you named yourself Kkul?"

 

"Yes, Sir." The investigator looks at him for a long moment before continuing the interrogation.

 

"What were you in charge of?" He asks.

 

"Plosives, I was the one building and placing the bombs."

 

[-]

 

"So tell me, Bang Chan, what did the other members do? Clearly, everyone must have had their discipline."

 

Chan hesitates for a moment. His entire body feels sore, everything inside him revolts against speaking, but his body seems to have a mind of its own, acting on it’s on. "Kkul-"

 

"No. I already told you, I want real names." The investigator stares down at him. Chan really does not want to speak up again.

 

"I don't know their names."

 

Silence. Rage fills the investigator’s eyes. "What do you mean you don't know their names?!"

 

Chan flinches when the investigator pushes himself up. "It was for safety!” He calls out, only relaxing in the slightest when the investigator sits down again. “In case one of us gets caught. You can't reveal a name you don't know, so I never asked anyone for their name and they never asked for mine."

 

If looks could kill, Chan would be a dead man now.

 

[-]

 

"What are the names of the other members of Stray Kids?"

 

"I'm afraid I do not know." Woojin explains with a sigh, leaning forward and propping himself up on the table on both forearms as though the cuffs on his wrists don’t exist. "We weren't allowed to know each other’s names. That was one of the two rules we had."

 

"Two rules?" The investigator repeats. "And the other rule?"

 

Woojin gazes into the air as thought looking into the distance. "Nine or none." He says it like a prayer that doesn't belong to him. One whose meaning he forgot.

 

[-]

 

"I only know two names.” Without paying attention to it, Chan rubs his wrists, smoothing his hand over the sore skin. Speaking is still difficult, but the still present, only slowly healing wounds argue him on. He hasn’t been beaten in a few days - since the baths – he isn’t about to challenge this lucky streak.  “We started this as three. But the others came after the rule..." Chan looks up at the investigator who growls in displeasure, Chan’s hands still and fall down onto his lap.

 

"Then tell me," The investigator demands "the others. What did they do? And which names do you know?"

 

Chan swallows thickly. "J.One. His name is Jisung, Han Jisung. He was my right hand. Seo... Seo Changbin, you know him as Spear B. The one in charge of weapons."

 

"You three founded Stray Kids?"

 

"Yes." Chan fidgets with his hands again. "We were young, dumb. We thought we could make a change for the better and didn't notice how it got out of hand..."

 

"Back to the other members. What did the others do?"

 

"K-kul, he was our plosives expert. He's the one who came with me. Lee Know, he has connections everywhere and always got us information."

 

"Do you know any of these contacts?"

 

"No," Chan admits timidly "Lee Know never gave away more than he needed to."

 

[-]

 

"You should know that Lee Know has a special talent," Woojin explains with a sad smile. "He can speak without talking. He goes on and on but doesn't give you any information. We never found out much about him. Except that he owns cats." A faint smile hushes over the investigator's face. "That's kind of Lee Know's concept - he knows everything but doesn't let you know anything more than needed."

 

"Interesting, very interesting."

 

"Ah- there is something I do know after all.” Woojin lifts himself up from his leaned back position in his chair. “But I'm sure we would have never found out if Lee Know had been alone."

 

The investigator leans across the table, closer to Woojin. "If he had been alone? In which sense?"

 

"He has a little brother. We don't even know if they are brothers by blood or not, but they sure behaved like brothers."

 

"And this brother... he was part of your group as well? What is his name?"

 

"Lux. I think Nine will be able to tell you a lot more about him than I can."

 

[-]

 

"Are you really trying to tell me that you don't know his name?" The investigator raises his brow. Chan shrinks a little. He really does not want to talk about Lux, his heart hurts only thinking about him.

 

"No."

 

"Despite you two... being in a relationship?"

 

"... We used a lot of pet names..."

 

The investigator rolls his eyes while leaning back in his chair. "Is it right that Lux and Lee Know are brothers?"

 

"Half-brothers," Chan clarifies. "Luxie told me that they share the same father but have different mothers."

 

"Why wasn’t _Luxie_ with you if you two were so close? Why didn’t he try to save you?"

 

Chan lowers his head. "I...I don’t know. I-“ Chan stutters, his body tenses up at the memory, but the investigator doesn’t seem to care.

 

“What happened when we took you captive?”

 

Chan stays silent for a long while before he can get himself to talk. “K-kul and I went into the room first. To check if the coast is clear. We were pretty far into the room and where about to call the others in when the smoke grenade started. We tried to run but…” He looks into the distance, his face becoming pale. “By the time we reached the door they had already closed it to protect themselves.”

 

“To protect themselves? And you are sure about that?”

Chan’s eyes go wide before his face twists in anger. “You have no idea. You don’t know them!”

 

“Oh? Then how much do you really know about them?”

 

“I know enough.”

 

“I don’t think you do.” The investigator says before getting up and leaving the room without even looking at Chan again.

 

[-]

“What was going when we took you captive, why were you and Nine alone?”

 

“Probably because we were supposed to be alone.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” The investigator leans forward. For the first time Woojin takes a moment to answer.

 

“We’ve been having some differences lately.” The investigator stays silent. “Nine was worried that things were getting out of control, because more and more people were getting hurt during our attacks…” Woojin hesitates again, he takes a sip of his water but the investigator’s silent stare argues him on. “When I reassured Nine that I was placing the bombs carefully, he suspected Lee Know had something to do with the increasing casualties, which lead to quite a fight. Nine ended up apologizing, saying that he had been angry and hadn’t meant what he said.”

 

“But that wasn’t enough for Lee Know?”  
  
“I don’t think so.” Woojin’s face becomes starn. “Apparently Lee Know is rather quick to bear grudges.”  
  
“What about you, were you just dragged into this because Lee Know wanted to get revenge?”  
  
“I don’t think this was just about revenge. He wanted to get rid of Nine, of both of us. Lee Know always had ambitions to lead our team and that, but he might have done it in a less… cruel way if it wasn’t for the fight. Nine made the mistake to anger him and I… was the one who might have proven him right. If Lee Know really did manipulate the bombs, I was the most likely to realise.”

 

[-]

 

“Good morning.” The investigator strides into the room with quick and sure steps.

 

“Good morning.” Woojin chirps, inhaling the comforting scent of coffee before taking a long sip from his mug.

 

"Why do you think Lux stayed with Stray Kids?"

 

“Oh, we’re getting right to the point today?”

 

“Yes. Now tell me why Lux didn’t side with his lover.”

 

"He's a very loyal person," Woojin starts. "But he was loyal to Lee Know first. He joined our group together with him."

 

"What you are saying is that he depends on his brother?"

 

"Oh yeah definitely," Woojin laughed. "In the beginning I even thought that he was just getting closer to Nine because of Lee Know."

 

"What do you mean?" The investigator leans forward, Woojin's words obviously having piqued his interest.

 

"Like I said yesterday, Lee Know has always been interested in power. But I guess Nine knew how to keep him down, even of unintentionally. When Lux and Nine started getting closer, I warned him."

 

"You warned him?" The investigator raises his brow. He seems surprised.

 

"Not to let Lux manipulate him for Lee Know's sake."

[-]

 

"Is it true that you were warned about Lux?"

 

"Yeah," Chan whispers.

 

"I told you before to speak up!"

 

"Yes!" He shouts, looking up at the inspector. "But I trusted him nonetheless.”

 

“That was a mistake.”

 

“You don’t know that. You-“

 

“I know,” The investigator breaks him off “that Lee Know wished to take over Stray Kids. I know that you and Kkul could have escaped without problems if your group hadn’t closed the door.  I know that _Luxie_ is a somebody who would do everything for the people he’s loyal to, in this case either you or Lee Know, and I know which side he choose.” He pauses for a moment. “I know that you’re not dumb, do you really think that he would choose his half-brother over you if you meant anything to him.”

 

 Chan’s face sinks. He bites down on his bottom lip. His brain is going a mile a minute. A tear rolls down his cheek when his teeth eventually release his lip. “I thought he loved me as much as I loved him..."

 

"Obviously, he did not," The investigator states. "He left you hanging when you needed him the most."

 

"He did." More tears flood Chan's eyes, rolling down his face, dropping from his chin. "I'm sorry I- I need a moment. Can we... Can we continue this later?"

 

"Do you think Lux has been fighting for Lee Know all this time?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Did he manipulate you?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Did he purposefully try to get rid of you?"

 

"I don't know!" Chan screams before realising a single sob. "Please leave..." He mumbles while curling into himself some more. "I need time to think." As soon as the investigator is through the door he breaks down sobbing.

 

[-]

 

"The attack took place at 3.07 pm. In addition to the changed time, no explosions took place during this attack. Employees and costumers of the bank were put to sleep using a certain gas that is still to be analysed. Although no official statement has been released so far, many see this change in behaviour as a proof that two members have in fact left the terrorist group called 'Stray Kids' after the attack on the department of education. Following the most recent attack more than 20 people, including a highly pregnant women, have been brought into hospital. Their state is still unknown."

 

Chan blankly stares ahead while listening to the news lady's report about his group. Or rather what used to be his group. They are going their own path now. Without him. Without Kkul. And apparently that path includes robbing banks.

 

"New footage has just reached us," the lady explains, looking at a paper that is being handed to her. "Surveillance cameras seem to have recorded Stray Kids’ flight from the scene." The video starts playing, Chan snaps out of his half-daze. He watches carefully as masked figures move across the screen. Seven of them. One of them turns around, directly towards the camera. Golden circle on the forehead, rays of sunshine framing the eyes, stars over his cheeks. Lux. The picture freezes right as he lifts his hand, presenting his middle finger with a clear "9" tattooed onto it.

 

"We believe it's a message for you." Chan swirls around in his seat, staring at the investigator behind him. "The tattoo. Especially in combination with its location." He switches off the TV before sitting down on the table with Chan. "If our information is correct this was Lux."

 

"Yes."

 

"We have more footage of the attack," The investigator states. "It seems as though this is the new leader of Stray Kids." He lays down a picture in front of Chan. Three dark red rings on the forehead, three on each cheek.

 

"Lee Know." Chan’s voice is low as he almost spits the words out.

 

"Exactly... You said earlier today that you do not know whether Lux manipulated you to benefit Lee Know’s purpose. Is this enough of an answer for you?"

 

Chan looks at the picture of Lee Know before taking the stack of pictures he is offered. They all show Lee Know giving commands. Except for the last one. It's a close-up of Lux, the one in which he shows his middle finger.

 

"He's calling you a traitor." Chan's breath becomes heavier, anger making him clutch at the pictures. "Not just that, he's saying that they don't need you anymore. You've been thrown away like a piece of trash by the person you trusted the most." Chan looks up at the investigator, anger visible in his eyes. “We have an offer to make you, Bang Chan."

 

"What kind of offer?"

 

"A way to get back at Lee Know. And Lux. A way to make them pay for everything they did to you. For all the lies and all the pain."

 

"What do you want me to do?" Chan asks, putting down the pictures.

 

"Join our team and help us stop Stray Kids. This will be very positive for you when your trial eventually takes place. And Lux can rot in prison together with the others.

 

Chan hesitates for a moment. "What about Kkul?"

 

"We made him the same offer."

 

"I want to talk to him."

 

"We can't-"

 

"I'm not going to leave him behind.” Chan looks the investigator straight into the eyes, holing back the impulse to avert his gaze in favour of getting his point across. “If I join, I want him to join as well. Let me talk to him."

 

The investigator smiles at Chan. "I'll see what I can do."

 

[-]

 

It takes some hours for the investigator to return. Chan feels like he’s going crazy. He must talk to Kkul. He does not want them on different sides of this conflict. He cannot loose the last remains of his dream.

 

Chan doesn’t budge when the investigator step in. He doesn’t turn around, just like the investigator doesn’t come closer.

 

"Because of the investigation we cannot have you do talk on your own you might-"

 

"Then listen!” He brings his fist to the table and gets up from his seat. “Cover us in microphones, install cameras all over the room, I don't care," Chan takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself before looking the investigator dead into the eyes. "Please let me talk to Kkul."

 

"We'll take you up on the microphones and cameras offer. As long as we can watch and listen to everything, you and Kkul can talk."

 

"Thank you." Chan gives the investigator a faint smile. "Thank you very much."

 

[-]

 

"Kkul," Chan mumbles as he sinks into the latter's arms. "Thank god, it's so good to see you again." He is faintly aware that the only reason they are even allowed to touch is because they’ve been searched for any weapons over and over again since their arrival. As if that wasn’t enough they had been forced into new, pristine white clothing with sewn up pockets before they were allowed into the same room. Even in the new attire, K-kul looks handsome as always. He has obviously come through their captivity way better than he did.

 

"My name is Woojin," He mumbles while hugging Chan tightly, a tear running down his face.

 

"Woojin, huh?" Chan whispers while pulling away a little bit. "I always knew you'd have a beautiful name like that." He smiles weakly and wipes the tear away from Woojin's cheek. "I am Chan."

 

"Chan... Did they make you the same offer?"

 

"Yeah. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I want us to make this decision together. I would like to join them but if you- if you don't want that I- I won't. I will not do anything without you."

 

"You want to join them? Why?"

 

For a moment they just stare at each other. This time Chan is the one starting to cry, slowly at first but it soon becomes more. "Woojin, you were right all along. Lux- Lux, he… he only used me. He just got close to me to give Lee Know more influence on me. He never loved me." Chan sobs, sinking into Woojin's arms again. Woojin holds Chan close and lets him cry against his shoulder. For a moment everything is silent except for Chan's quiet sobbing. They just stand there, holding each other closer as if they’re the only thing tying each other to this world. It takes a while until Woojin speaks up again.

 

"Let's get these bastards what they deserve." Chan pulls back, looking at Woojin in confusion. "Let's join the DIT and stop them."


	2. Who am I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with the next chapter everyone! I hope you like it.^^

Chan sighs as the cuffs are taken off. They are still trapped in the sterile white clothing, way too big button-up shirt and rather tight-fitting white pants, but that he can bear. He looks over at Woojin who smiles and thanks the security guard for unlocking his handcuffs.

 

“Feels good to have them off, huh?” Chan only nods, his hand coming up to massage his sore wrist. The expression on Woojin’s face seems a little concerned as he looks Chan over. “You put up resistance, didn’t you?”

 

“I did.”

 

Woojin tenses up a little, averting his gaze and straightening in his seat. It immediately makes Chan feel guilty for his harsh tone, but he finds himself unable to speak up and apologize. Chan leans forward, propping himself up on his forearms on the table. Today, for the first time, the investigator comes into a room with a smile.

 

“I am awfully glad to hear both of you are accepting our offer. Welcome to the Division of Internal Terrorism. You may call me Lieutenant Yoon, I am in charge of this Division. It might be obvious, but I will state it again, you will only come into contact with the special task force Nr. 319.122.017 and aid them in catching the terrorist group called ‘Stray Kids’.”

 

“We are aware,” Chan confirms.

 

“Good. Then let’s begin.”

 

[-]

 

Woojin looks at the pictures spread in front of them. He has already put aside the picture showing him after explaining his golden mask with a bright red. Since they know why he was called Kkul, there wasn’t really a lot to say about his mask. He had to tell them about his position in the group: plosives expert and paramedic. Chan didn’t have too much explaining. After all, his mask is mostly black, with a white nine around his left eye which curls to form a smile at the end.

 

Chan picks up another picture. A lean figure almost drowning in the black hoodie. His mask is bright red, has a straight white line down the middle and two large white half circles around the eyes.

 

“This is J.One.” Chan’s voice is cold and factual. “His real name is Han Jisung, as I already told you. He used to be one of my closest friends and my right hand.”

 

“One of your closest friends?”

 

Chan goes tense, sets his jaw. “Before he betrayed me. I think Lee Know got him on his side with… convincing arguments.” Lieutenant Yoon raises his brow. “In bed.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Yes, we were the gays against the government, got a problem with that?”

 

Woojin chuckles as Chan stares the shocked Lieutenant down. “What Chan is trying to say is that we found each other because we are all attracted to men in some way. Chan, Lee Know- “

 

“I am not interested in details!” Lieutenant Yoon shouts. His face clearly reflects his distaste. “So all of you are homosexual?”

 

“Gay, bi or pan. If you’re going to be offended by our orientation, at least do it right.” Chan leans back with his arms crossed, his expression still stern.

 

“The point is,” Woojin intervenes before the situation can escalate any further “that Lee Know and J.One spent at least one night together. We know that much.”

 

“Did they say that?”

 

“The hickeys and intense eye contact spoke for themselves,” Chan deadpans.                                                                                                                                            

 

Lieutenant Yoon sighs deeply. “Let’s please move on to another member.”

 

“Gladly,” Chan agrees through gritted teeth before taking another picture into his hand. It shows a rather short but broadly build person. His mask is separated by a white horizontal line; the bottom part is grey. The top half is black and split by a vertical white line down the middle. “SpearB. His real name is Seo Changbin. My other best friend and our weapons expert. I guess Jisung and Lux must have convinced him to join Lee Know.”

 

“What makes you so sure it wasn’t Lee Know himself?”

 

“Changbin never really trusted Lee Know, thought Lee Know was hiding something because of how quiet he was. I guess I should have listened to him…”

 

When Chan goes quiet Woojin reaches out to hold his hand, squeezing it in reassurance before continuing himself. “Lee Know might have been suspicious, but J.One and Lux weren’t. They both seemed really… honest. And nice. When looking at them, one wouldn’t think they even know what the word evil means. It’s easy to trust them.”

 

“That’s why Lee Know got close to Jisung,” Chan murmurs, his eyes widening in realisation. “It isn’t like Lee Know to pull a move like that just to convince Jisung. He didn’t just want to win over someone close to me, if it was about that it could have just as well been Changbin. But Jisung inspires confidence just as much as he gives it.”

 

“You think he would woo the entire group just because Lee Know got him laid?” Woojin looks confused.

 

“No, but he’s a hopeless romantic. If he believes that Lee Know loves him, he’d do pretty much everything for him and pull the others right along due to his nature…” Chan gulps heavily. Anger twisting his face. “It was all planned. He was the perfect victim for Lee Know’s games and I didn’t realise…”

 

“Chan-”

 

“No!” Chan flinches away from Woojin’s touch, stands up. “He was…” Chan runs a hand through his hair and squeezes his eyes shut.

 

Woojin turns to towards the Lieutenant, talking in a low voice. “Please give us some time.” Lieutenant Yoon looks up at Chan, who is nervously walking through the room, before nodding. As soon as the Lieutenant is out of the room Woojin gets up and walks up to Chan, stopping for a moment when he sees Chan’s tear-filled eyes.

 

“I should have realised Lee Know was only playing with him. I-“ Woojin steps closer to Chan and brings his hands up to Chan’s arms. Tears start rolling over Chan’s cheeks as soon as he looks up at Woojin.

 

“Chan, it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know Lee Know would manipulate him like that?”

 

“I should have realised Jisung wouldn’t just jump into bed with Lee Know. And especially that he wouldn’t get swayed by a simple fuck. He didn’t turn his back on me out of conviction, he did it for Lee Know. Jisung didn't do anything, just the fact that he and Lux stood by Lee Know's side was enough to convince the others. He was just another victim of Lee Know's plan. My best friend had his feelings played with and used against him and I let it happen.” Being lost of words, Woojin wraps his arms around Chan and hugs him. He feels Chan sink into his arms, become small. “It was my role to watch after everyone. But-”

 

“You shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself, Chan. Lee Know- “

 

“There are no excuses!” Chan shrugs Woojin's hands off and takes a step back. “I should have protected Jisung, but I failed.”

 

[-]

 

Jisung gazes at the money, his expression is blank as he picks up a bundle and looks through the banknotes. After a moment he drops it onto the pile again. He only snaps out of his daze when he feels hands on his upper arms.

 

“What are you doing, Baby?” Jisung looks behind him but quickly breaks eye contact with Minho again.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Minho slides his hands down Jisung’s arms and leans closer to kiss his shoulder. “You’re thinking too much.”

 

“We left Nine and Kkul to be caught by the DIT, of course I’m thinking!” Jisung swirls around, only stopping when Minho’s fingers curl around his wrists to hold him in place.

 

“Do you regret it?” Minho’s voice is calm and stern, the emotions in his eyes like an unbreakable code. Jisung gulps.

 

“No,” He shakes his head. “No, it was the right thing to do.”

 

“Exactly.” Minho lets go of his wrist and slides his arms around Jisung to hug him. Jisung let’s his head rest on Minho’s shoulder and presses closer. “It’s too late to change anything about it anyways. So don’t break your pretty head over it.”

 

Jisung sighs and leans back a little to look at Minho. “How about you make me stop worrying then?” A smile hushes over Jisung’s face when Minho cups his cheek with his hand and starts kissing him.

 

[-]

 

“Of course, we can continue tomorrow,” Lieutenant Yoon assures Woojin. Chan is still in the interrogation room. By now he has calmed a bit, though it had taken quite some time until he had stopped crying. Woojin had felt so helpless and weak, unable to do anything for Chan but give him a shoulder to cry on.

 

“There is just one thing,” The Lieutenant gives him a patronizing smile. “We can’t let you two free just like that.”

 

“I didn’t think you would. What are the conditions?”

 

“One of our safe houses is free. Or rather one of our safe apartments. It’s suited for two people and fully equipped, so it shouldn’t be a problem that we will not let you into your former apartments. And you will have to wear an electronic tag.”

 

“Fair enough,” Woojin chirps. “To be honest, I thought you would go for 24/7 supervision. Electronic tags are a relief.”

 

“Does this mean we have an agreement?”

 

“It’s not like we have much of a choice,” Woojin laughs. “So yes, we have a deal.”

 

[-]

 

Despite the relief, electronic tags aren’t exactly pleasant. Especially Chan seems anything but comfortable with getting that thing attached to his ankle. But since their only alternative is staying inside the DIT headquarters the entire time, it’s an inconvenience they must endure.

 

The apartment isn’t that far away. After just a handful of minutes the car stops in front of a tall building with glass front. They aren’t given much time to take in their new neighbourhood but are quickly ushered out of the car, through the hallway and into the elevator. Once inside the guard presses the button for the twelfth floor. The ride passes in complete silence. “This is your new apartment.” Is the only thing the guard says when unlocking the door and stepping aside to let them in.

 

Woojin is the first to enter, Chan trails close behind him. The apartment is spacious and light-flooded, wide rooms with a modern looking furniture. While Woojin walks around, taking in the entirety of their new apartment, Chan steps closer to the large window. From here they have a nice view, the city stretching underneath them like a gigantic maze.

 

“We are going to leave now,” The guard announces. “There are a few sets of clothes in your closets and some food in the fridge. It should be enough for a couple of days.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“There’s no need to thank me,” The guard says before walking out of the door and closing it with a loud thud.

 

[-]

 

“Woah, look at this!” Woojin lets himself fall onto the couch. “Have you ever seen a TV this big?”

 

“No,” Chan mumbles as he sinks into the cushions. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Except for our missions maybe, but those weren’t apartments.”

 

They spent at least an hour walking around and looking at everything their new apartment has to offer. It was mesmerizing to be honest. Both of them had grown up in rather modest conditions, nothing like the overwhelmingly large apartment with expensive furnishing and magnificent view.

 

“Which bedroom do you want?”

 

Chan thinks for a moment. “The one on the right, I like the arrangement of furniture there better.”

 

“Alright, then I’ll take the left one.” When Chan looks at him, Woojin is smiling. A moment of silences passes before Woojin speaks up again. “Our new apartment is really beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Woojin snorts with laughter. “What, don’t tell me you miss the abandoned, run-down buildings we used to hide in?”

 

“No…” For a second Chan hesitates. “But I miss the atmosphere. All of us sitting together by our little campfire, discussing the latest mission… I always enjoyed that, how we laughed together and cared for each other. Everything here seems so cold. But then again, maybe out relationship wasn’t all that good after all…”

 

In the silence of the room Woojin shifts a little, turns towards Chan, props his elbow up on the back of the couch and leans his head against his knuckles. “The others really meant a lot to you, didn’t they?” His voice is lower than before, it sounds almost cautious.

 

Chan’s chest tightens a little with the shift of atmosphere. “They still do. All of you.” The words make it hard to look at Woojin, so Chan stares ahead at the way too big TV instead.

 

“Even Lee Know and Lux?”

 

He gulps. It’s a difficult question, albeit one he should have expected. “I guess so… Yeah… I’m scared of what the DIT might do to them. I guess that’s another reason why I want us involved in this… I hate their guts but some part of me still wants to protect them. After everything they did to me, to us. To Jisung.”

 

Woojin sighs, before lowering his hand onto Chan’s thigh. Chan’s throat feels tight. “There’s nothing you could have done about Lee Know and Jisung.”

 

“I just let it happen, Woojin. I was watching the entire time and I didn’t-“ Tears roll down Chan’s face again; he can feel himself getting wrapped up in Woojin’s arms and his head being leaned against Woojin’s shoulder. “I remember how it all started, how Lee Know would always look at Jisung during our meetings. Jisung smiled and blushed whenever he noticed until he started staring back at Lee Know.”

 

“You couldn’t have known, Lee Know convinced me as well. He really did make it look like he was falling for Jisung.”

 

“I should have made a rule against relationships,” Chan mumbles out of nowhere. “I considered it in the beginning.”

 

Silence fills the room. Chan can feel Woojin tensing up a little but if Woojin does want to say something, he holds it back. So Chan continues. “When our group grew past Changbin, Jisung and I, I wanted to make sure that romantic relationships don’t get in the way. Love makes people irrational and that could have endangered our missions. But then Lux showed up...”

 

Woojin’s hold around Chan tightens a bit. “I liked Lux from the moment we met. Love at first sight if you want to call it that way. That’s the only reason I never introduced that rule. Because I hoped to get closer to Lux…”

 

“Don’t tell me that’s why you feel so guilty about what happened?”

 

“If I had introduced the rule, none of this would have happened. Lee Know’s plan would have failed, he couldn’t have played with Jisung’s feelings and Lux couldn’t have played with mine.”

 

“Chan, that’s-”

 

“If it wasn’t for my stupid crush on Lux we would still be with Stray Kids. I put my own interest over the group and look what happened.” Chan starts sobbing and presses closer to Woojin’s body. “I don’t deserve to call myself a leader.”


	3. I am not me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, university started again and things got kind of busy. I hope to write the next chapter a bit quicker but sadly I can't promise anything, I'll do my best though. Enjoy the new chapter everyone!^^

Chan feels half dead while he and Woojin wait for Lieutenant Yoon. It’s a new room and they finally had the chance to put on some clothes that weren’t sterile white and standard sized, but the miserable feeling is still the same.

 

"Are you feeling better now?"

 

Oh yes, absolutely. A good night of hardly any sleep surely does wonders to wash away all negative feelings one might have about two people they trust playing with their best friend’s and one’s own feelings. Everything must be absolutely peachy. Couldn’t be any better.

 

"A little." Chan doesn't smile, unlike Lieutenant Yoon. "Lee Know is tricking Jisung into thinking he loves him."

 

The Lieutenant sighs, looking a bit confused at the sudden statement. "Couldn't it be that Lee Know actually does have feelings for Han Jisung?"

 

"Unlikely," Woojin throws in.

 

"I doubt Lee Know is able to love anyone but himself," Chan practically spits out.

 

"That means if we were to target Han Jisung Lee Know wouldn't try to defend him?" The Lieutenant seems almost excited about his deduction.

 

"Oh, he definitely would. But not out of attachment. Lee Know needs Jisung for his plans; he'll do anything to prevent us from even coming near Jisung, because he's both Lee Know's greatest strength and his biggest weak point."

 

Lieutenant Yoon doesn’t look satisfied with that explanation, so Chan continues. "What Woojin means is that Jisung, just like Lux, is important for the dynamic of Stray Kids. Those two are the glue that keeps the group together now that… now that I'm gone.” For a moment Chan is silent, grits his teeth. It’s still hard for him to say it. His mind is starting to accept that he and Woojin aren’t with Stray Kids anymore, but his body still refuses to acknowledge it. After everything that has happened to him, his body is still revolting against this cold fact.

 

“Plus, as my right hand, Jisung has gathered experience with planning and leading missions. Unlike Lee Know. He needs Jisung's knowledge. Last but not least, Lee Know needs to make sure Jisung does not entertain any doubt about their relationship."

 

"Otherwise his plan might collapse like a house of cards," The Lieutenant concludes gleefully.

 

"Exactly," Woojin agrees. "Which is why Lee Know is going to keep Jisung right by his side where he can make sure nobody but himself has an influence on him."

 

"There's only one reason Lee Know might put Jisung at risk." Chan gulps heavily. "Lux is the only person he trusts and who maybe means anything to him. But he won't guard Lux the way he guards Jisung, because he thinks Lux is safe. Without Woojin’s and my help, you wouldn’t know who Lux is to Lee Know, Lux would be a member like anyone else. And with our help... he thinks I’m too weak to target Lux."

 

“Are you?” Lieutenant Yoon scans him with a quick look. Chan leans forward, his eyes narrow, his jaw sets.

 

“I wouldn’t tell you about any of this if I was.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

They watch in silence as the remaining pictures are spread in front of them. As if the lengthy explanation about how Lee Know and Lux are playing with Stray Kids, especially Jisung, wasn’t exhausting enough. Five photographs are still in front of them. Woojin quickly grabs the picture, which shows somebody in a turquoise mask with three bright red rings at the forehead and three bright red rings at each cheek, and hands it to the Lieutenant.

 

“You already have all our facts about Lee Know. I already told you that he was the one with connections and that he never gave away anything more than he absolutely needed to.”

 

“I see.” Lieutenant Yoon puts the picture of Lee Know back into his folder. “What about Lux?”

 

Chan picks up the picture of Lux. His gaze wanders over the familiar dark blue mask, the golden sun on his forehead, three rays of sunshine reaching down towards the stars on Lux's cheeks. He allows himself to look at the slim body hidden underneath baggy clothing. Seeing him like that, nobody would suspect how strong he actually is.

 

“Lux was our martial arts expert.” Without intending it, Chan’s gaze gets caught on the little glimpse of the tattoo on Lux’s middle finger. “He trained us for the case of hand-to-hand combat.”

 

Lieutenant Yoon takes the picture out oh Chan’s hands. Gives it a critical look.

 

“He doesn’t look like someone trained in martial arts.”

 

“That’s the tricky thing about him,” Chan mumbles. “You have no idea how dangerous he is until it’s too late.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

“Things are looking good,” Minho announces with a smile. “Well done, everyone. We’re done for today.”

 

“So that means we can go home?” Jeongin asks.

 

“Yes, go and get some rest. I will let you know when it’s time to gather again.”

 

Seungmin and Jeongin are rather quick at gathering their few belongings. Hyunjin stretches when he gets up from the spacious couch. He frowns a little when he spots Changbin leaning back in his arm chair and getting his phone out.

 

“Aren’t you going to go home?”

 

“No.” Changbin sighs and lowers his phone again. “The DIT most likely has my name by now. I can’t risk them catching my face on camera.”

 

“Oh, right.” Hyunjin’s gaze wanders over Minho and Jisung talking by the fire place on the other side of the room and Felix sitting on the large windowsill with his back against the wall, playing on his phone. “At least you won’t be alone.”

 

“Exactly, which is why there’s no need for you to be worried. We’re going to be fine.” A faint smile hushes over Changbin’s face. “Now do as Lee Know told us and get some rest.”

 

Hyunjin nods before proceeding to grab his jacket and putting on his shoes. He says his good bye to everyone, just like Seungmin and Jeongin did, and leaves the sumptuous house.

 

He still can’t believe anybody would buy a house like that and leave it empty most of the year, how SpearB’s parents can actually afford that is beyond his knowledge. When they met, he wouldn’t have thought that SpearB comes from a wealthy family, he wasn’t stuck-up or treated them as anything less for not being as well-off as his family. Hyunjin had always thought that all rich people were arrogant and corrupt, without any care about the people around them. But SpearB... he was different. Like a silver lining on the horizon.

 

 

[-]

 

 

Sighing, Changbin gets up from his spot and starts walking through the large room. He hates parting after a mission. It makes him feel hollow, as if a part of him had been taken away from him, as if everything that happened during their missions didn’t belong to his life at all. Having some of the others around makes it better, but it’s still so quiet, so empty.

 

“Is anyone else hungry?” Changbin walks closer towards Minho and Jisung, putting on a smile when they look up at him. “I’m starving.”

 

Jisung detaches himself from Minho a bit, enough to not make Changbin feel like an intruder anymore. “Pizza would be awesome.”

 

Felix’s head shoots up. In a matter of seconds, he is up, has crossed the room. “Pizza?”

 

It doesn’t take long to settle for a meal. They all agree that it’s safest if Lee Know orders the pizza and picks it up at the store, they can’t risk having anyone near their new hide out. Even if it’s just a delivery man, chances are he would remember them once pictures of SpearB and J.One are spread across the city. And with Nine and Kkul in the power of the DIT, it’s only a matter of time until that happens.

 

 

[-]

 

 

“This here” Chan picks up one of the three remaining pictures and hands it so Lieutenant Yoon. “is Mirror. He’s an expert for illusions, adaption, hiding…”

 

The Lieutenant looks at the picture. Mirror is the tallest member of Stray Kids and has a fairly broad build. His mask looks like a theatre mask, the right half laughing and the left half crying. “He made sure you aren’t caught?”

 

“Exactly. Mirror was responsible for our disguises and worked together with Lee Know at finding our hide-outs,” Woojin explains.

 

“You trusted them with finding shelter for the group?” Lieutenant Yoon asks.

 

“We needed Lee Know’s connections to find abondened buildings we could use,” Chan explains. “Mirror just checked of the available buildings were fit to hide in.”

 

“Do you think Stray Kids still search for hide-outs like that?”

 

For a moment, Chan has to think this through. Would they really continue their tactic? Where else would they go? “I think Lee Know is too smart to continue on like this. But then again, that might be exactly what Lee Know wants me to think.”

 

“As you see, it’s kind of hard to predict Lee Know.” There isn’t much else they can say. Even after Woojin’s attempt of an explanation, Lieutenant Yoon doesn’t seem too happy with the information he got.

 

“Let’s move onto the next member,” The Lieutenant concludes with a sigh.

 

“Okay then.” Chan picks up the next picture. “This is Day and Night.” The name shows on the mask: a colour gradient from light blue, over purple to dark blue. There is a golden sun over the right eye and a golden moon underneath the left one. “It’s mostly shortened to DaN. We often called him Dandy boy though. He’s a hacker.”

 

Lieutenant Yoon stops dead in his tracks. Chan can almost hear the gears rattling in his head before a reaction stumbles out of his moth. “There is a hacker in Stray Kids?!”

 

“How do you think we knew where to place the bombs?” Woojin laughs.

 

“That means this boy” Lieutenant Yoon points at the picture. “has been hacking into government systems?!”

 

“Yes,” Chan confirms timidly. Woojin tries not to laugh. Lieutenant Yoon seems to be on the brink of a temper tantrum.

 

“Maybe we should move onto I.N.ie. We can talk about DaN later.” Woojin suggests. The Lieutenant stares him down and ignores his statement.

 

“I want to know everything about him. And his methods. **Now.** ”

 

“We don’t really know how he did it. DaN is the hacker, not us. I just told him what information to get, DaN did the rest by himself.”

 

“How did he learn about hacking?”

 

“He’s an autodidact. That’s everything I now.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

If boiling water was a person, it would look the way Lieutenant Yoon did before he left. Woojin doubts his head could have gotten any redder. After Chan had told him that they have no clue how Dandy got into their systems, he left the interrogation room to make a phone call. There’s been screaming in the hallway ever since. Mostly commands and insults. Whoever the Lieutenant is calling, they can probably hear him without the phone. It’s fascinating, really. Woojin had no idea humans could even scream for that long.

 

Next to him, Chan is fidgeting around and awfull lot. “I guess he isn’t taking the news very well…”

 

“Doesn’t look like it. To be honest, I thought he would be a little more… level-headed.” Woojin looks Chan over, frowning when he flinches at a particularly loud scream from outside. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, I just… I don’t like loud voices.” Chan’s voice declines to a whisper. The frown on Woojin’s face deepens. For a moment Woojin hesitates, then takes Chan’s hand into his.

 

“Focus on me.” Chan looks confused when he turns to look at Woojin. When Woojin starts singing, Chan’s expression very gradually fades into something more relaxed, more at ease. After a moment he even closes his eyes, takes deeper breaths while his soul is coated in honey. “Thank you.” A light smile forms on Chan’s lips.

 

 

[-]

 

 

Felix sighs as he steps into his room. Silence. Everything is so quiet. He hates it. Even though the room is beautiful and the view is mesmerizing, he can’t stand being here. Especially getting near the single bed neatly tucked away in the corner of the room.

 

When he closes his eyes, all the memories come crashing back at him. Chris’ scent, the feeling of his hand on Felix’s cheek, the feeling of his strong arms around Felix’s waist. With quivering breath, Felix sits down on the bed and hugs his legs to his chest. Chris ruffling his hair, kissing his forehead. Felix screws his eyes shut as tightly as he can. Falling asleep on Chris' chest, waking up in his arms. Tears start flowing from his eyes. More and more until they run down his cheeks and soak into the fabric of his sleeves. Sobs fill the little space framed by his body. Felix doesn’t hear either the knock at his door, nor Minho coming into his room. He doesn’t realise someone is there until he can feel the mattress shift next to him. A hand starts patting his hair. Felix doesn’t look up.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Yeah.” Minho’s voice is low. A moment of silence passes. “This is because of Nine, isn’t it?” Felix lets Minho continue patting his hair. It helps a little, but the drop in the bucket it isn’t enough to stop his tears. Minho sighs. “You said you would be okay, but you miss him more than you’d like to admit, don’t you?”

 

“I-” Felix is broken off by a sob. “I don’t understand it either. I thought I would be fine but-”

 

“Nobody claimed it would be easy.”

 

“I know…” Felix mumbles. After a moment he lifts his head, wiping his tears away before looking up at his brother. “How do you do it? With J.One I mean. How do you-”

 

“I ignore it,” Minho cuts him off and suddenly gets up from the bed. “There is no use dwelling on it anyways. What has to be done has to be done.”

 

Felix gulps but nods as he looks up at Minho’s stern face. “You’re right.” He lowers his head again. “There’s no other way.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

“As far as I know there is only one member left.” It had taken quite a while for the Lieutenant to return. But now here he is, trying his best to appear calm. Though it’s obvious he’s still overflowing with rage on the inside. The fact that DaN is able to hack into government systems seems to really have pricked his pride.

 

“Before we continue,” Woojin speaks up. “We need to establish a rule.”

 

How to further annoy an already fuming Lieutenant: try to tell him what to do. Lieutenant Yoon looks like he wants to jump across the table and strangle them. “Do you really think you two are in any position to make demands?!”

 

“It’s not exactly a demand. More a request.” The Lieutenant frowns but doesn’t intervene. His breath is heavy, his jaw set, brows furrowed. It takes a moment and a deep breath until Woojin continues. “Don’t scream near Chan.”

 

Lieutenant Yoon snorts. “That’s it? No screaming?”

 

“It’s fairly simple,” Woojin explains. “Either you will be silent, or us. It’s up to you, but if you want to get any information from us, you will have to respect that.”

 

“Fine,” Lieutenant Yoon grits out. “If that’s what it takes to get our little princess over here to talk, then so be it.”

 

“The ‘princess’ has a name,” Woojin and Chan answer back in unison.

 

Lieutenant Yoon laughs out loud. “How cute. Now let’s get back to business. The last member.”

 

Chan grits his teeth, but eventually speaks up. “I.N. The one with the bright pink mask that’s black around the lower jaw. He is…”

 

The Lieutenant sighs in annoyance. “Yes? Continue.”

 

“Only if you promise to stick to our rule,” Woojin insists.”

 

“I already did.”

 

“We just want to make sure you remember,” Chan mumbles before taking a deep breath. “I.N. it the spy.”

 

“What kind of spy?” A lot of effort seems to be necessary for Lieutenant Yoon to stay “calm”. But he manages to keep his voice at a normal volume.

 

“He gets all the information Lee Know doesn’t have access to. I.N. talks to all kinds of people, overhears things…”

 

“We called him our little desert fox. His face looks innocent,” Woojin adds. “You wouldn’t suspect anything bad from him.”

 

Lieutenant Yoon is about to pose another question when he is broken off by a knock at the door, which is answered with a barked “Yes?”. The door opens and a woman in DIT uniform steps in. She can’t be much older than Chan and Woojin. Her long, blond hair is kept in a low ponytail.

 

“Lieutenant, Stray Kids seem to have changed their motto.”

 

“Oh, so they didn’t keep ‘Nine or none’?” Chan deadpans. He can see the hint of a smile twitching on her lips before it vanishes again when she meets the Lieutenant’s frown.

 

“ **That** is why you’re interrupting us? Another motto?!”

 

“This new motto is kind of… unsettling.” She steps forward and places the sheet of paper in her hand on the table in front of Lieutenant Yoon. His frown deepens even more, if Chan hadn’t seen it himself he wouldn’t have thought that was possible. After a moment of observing the picture taken at the most recent crime scene, the Lieutenant reads out loud.

 

“Stray Kids everywhere all around the world.”


	4. Sirens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long, exam season hit me. I'm not sure when I will have time for the next chapter, but I will try to get it out quicker than this chapter. Have fun reading, everyone!^^

“Oh, you’re already in bed?” A light frown arises on Minho’s face when spotting Jisung curled up on their bed. He closes the door behind him and takes a few careful steps closer. Jisung nods while plugging the charger into his phone and placing it on the nightstand next to him.

 

“I was feeling kind of exhausted after today. The missions and… You know…” His face looks gloomy; his shoulders are slumped; his body is crouched into a small ball. Suddenly Jisung closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if trying to get rid of all the negative thoughts, before starting to make grabby hands into Minho’s direction. “Come here.”

 

Minho allows himself a faint smile while approaching their bed and taking Jisung’s hands into his. In a matter of seconds Jisung pulls him into bed, covers him with the blanket, cuddles into his side.

 

Warmth spreads through Jisung’s chest when Minho puts an arm around him and pulls him closer. Silence fills the bit of space between them while they look into each other’s eyes. Slowly but steadily, a smile forms on Jisung’s face. “Do you have any idea how much better I fell when I’m with you? It’s as though everything bad disappears from this world…”

 

“You’re such a sap,” Minho complains, making Jisung laugh with his played disgusted face before pecking Jisung’s lips. “But I know what you mean.” For a moment they just gaze into each other’s eyes again, smiles wide and hands finding back to each other. Minho leans in and kisses Jisung; stars slow and gentle, but soon takes things further. Before they know it, Minho is leaning above Jisung and is leaving kisses down Jisung’s throat.

 

“What are you doing?” Jisung giggles when he feels fingertips ghosting up the sides of his body. His eyes flutter shut while more and more kisses are placed on his skin.

 

“Taking your mind of all the unpleasant events of today,” Minho mumbles into the crook of Jisung’s neck before continuing with his procedure.

 

“I don’t know about tha-” Jisung stops in his tracks when Minho suddenly raises up unto his knees and pulls his shirt over his head. Contently grinning, Minho bunches the shirt up and throws it off to the side.

 

“Just wait and see.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

“Hello, you two,” The young man in front of them says. His face doesn’t exactly look thrilled, not like Chan expected that. “I am Lance Corporal Tuan, unit E, safety team,” He patters. “Since you are going to work with us, the Lieutenant wants you to be familiar with our division’s rooms.”  


“What about the rest of the headquarter?”

 

“No,” He shuts Woojin off immediately. “The Lieutenant just wants you to be able to know the place you’re going to working at and the way out the building. I’m not allowed to show you anything beyond that.”

 

Chan and Woojin nod silently and follow Lance Corporal Tuan when he turns on his heel and starts heading down the hallway. They walk through some doors and more hallways. Chan already fears the Lance Corporal might be ignoring them so successfully that he already forgot about them until they stop in front of a wall with three big double doors. The middle one reads “BATTLE TEAM” in all capital letters.

 

“These are the rooms of the battle team,” Lance Corporal Tuan explains. It’s kind of obvious, but Chan appreciates that the Lance Corporal makes an effort to talk. The silence was getting kind of uncomfortable. “The battle team is responsible for taking out Stray Kids; they are one of two teams moving out during an attack.”

 

And gone is the appreciation. A lump forms in Chan’s throat while he listens to those words. “Taking out Stray Kids” keeps circling and circling in his head like a cruel carousel. He’s starting to feel dizzy.

 

“Are you okay?” Woojin mutters in a low voice, just loud enough for Chan to hear. His hand comes to rest on Chan’s shoulder. Somehow it makes Chan’s head spin a little less. As if the weight of Woojin’s hand is enough to bring him back to the ground.

 

“I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”

 

The Lance Corporal gives them a critical look but lets their little conversation slide and approaches the middle door. When they enter the spacious room behind said door, there is talking and buzzing everywhere. But the moment people notice Chan and Woojin behind their supervisor things change. Everybody goes quiet and more and more heads turn towards them. Everybody is staring them down, piercing them with their gazes. It feels like they’re getting lead inside a snake pit.

 

Chan can feel his heartbeat skyrocket. His hands get sweaty. The dizziness hits him again. He has a hard time keeping his breath normal. He wonders if his state is obvious to the people trying to kill him with their eyes. Chan might have fled the room if it wasn’t for Woojin’s hand resting on his back which silently reminds him to stay strong for their goal. He tries to take a deep breath. And another. His nails dig into the heels of his hands as he urges himself to calm down.

 

“You’ve brought guests?” One of the men suddenly speaks up. He gets up from his seat and gives them a warry smile as he strides towards them. “Maybe we should go outside,” He suggests after a look around the room full of people ready to jump at Chan’s and Woojin’s throats.

 

 

[-]

 

 

“What are your names?” They had made their way to a small kitchen within the battle team’s room. The man who had led them out is, for some reason, now preparing coffee for all of them.

 

“My name is Bang Chan. You probably know me as Nine.” The man hums and nods while giving him a quick glance.

 

“And I’m Kim Woojin. Or Kkul.”

 

“Corporal Kim Minseok. I’m in charge of the battle team.” The man sighs while turning towards them. “I’d say it’s nice to meet you but that doesn’t quite hit it.” He sets the cups down on the table in front of them and sits down opposite from them. “Though I have to apologize for my team. They are so focused on fighting Stray Kids that collaborating with you two doesn’t sit well with them just yet. Even though you’re going to help us catch the rest of the group.”

 

“That’s understandable, it’s still awkward for us as well...” Chan mumbles. His hands snake around the cup. There’s something comforting about the warmth that seeps through his skin. Despite the new room with a pleasant lack of people staring daggers at them, Chan still feels the need to spring to his feet and run.

 

“I think we will all need time to adjust.” Woojin smiles at Chan before taking a sip from his coffee.

 

“You have a point,” The Corporal agrees. “Please be patient with my team. They may be doubtful, but they are good people. If you give them time, they will eventually warm up to you.”

 

“I sure hope so…”

 

 

[-]

 

 

Jisung wakes up to sunrays tickling his skin. His eyes slowly blink open; it takes him a moment to look around the room and realise it’s already bright outside. Next to him, Minho is still sleeping soundly. Very carefully, Jisung turns around to glimpse at his phone. Not even half past eight. Fuck yeah.

 

With a bright smile on his face Jisung lies back down and snuggles into Minho’s side. It’s a relief how calm and relaxed Minho is when he sleeps. He tries not to let it show but this whole situation is asking a lot of him. Minho is always tense, always stressed, always on edge. It must be exhausting to suddenly be the leader. Even though he was prepared for the responsibility…

 

More and more time passes in the silence of their room. Jisung doubts any of the others are awake anyways. As far as he knows, none of them is an early bird. Which means lots of wonderfully free time for Jisung to admire his sleeping boyfriend. His gaze wanders over Minho’s gorgeous tousled hair that reaches into his eyes, his strong eyebrows… Jisung leans forward to plant a kiss on Minho’s forehead. From up close, Minho is even more captivating. The slope of his cheeks, his beautiful full lips…

 

Jisung still remembers the first time they kissed like it happened yesterday. After all the longing, all the hidden glances, all the fleeting touches. How it had all finally led up to that moment… Jisung’s heart beats faster when thinking about the way Minho had looked him in the eyes, this warm glow full of so many emotions all at once. Minho had looked so unusually shy while gently taking Jisung’s hands into his own. They had leaned in so slowly, so carefully, as if expecting the other to suddenly change his mind. When their lips had finally met, time had seemed to stop. Their first kiss had been hesitant and insecure but so sweet. “Please be my boyfriend.” Minho had whispered under his breath when they had pulled away.

 

“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend,” Jisung echoes before placing a soft kiss on Minho’s still lips. After a moment Minho stirs. Giggling silently, Jisung rubs his nose against Minho’s, bunny-kissing him awake. “Good morning, my love.”

 

“Mornin’,” Minho mumbles, still mostly asleep. “What time is it?”

 

“Not even nine yet.” Jisung’s voice declines to a whisper again.

 

“Perfect.” A smile tugs at the corners Minho’s lips while he carefully opens his eyes to look at Jisung.

 

“Mhm. Lots of time to cuddle,” Jisung agrees. Grinning contently, Minho rolls over, wraps his arm around Jisung and hooks a leg around Jisung’s body and pulls him closer. With a happy sigh, Jisung snuggles into Minho’s chest and closes his eyes again.

 

 

[-]

 

 

“These are the rooms of the investigation team.” Lance Corporal Tuan seems a bit more relaxed now, after their little coffee break with the boss of the battle team. Maybe not being all alone with Chan and Woojin helped. Or maybe he just accepted his fate. Either way, the young man is a little less stiff, still formal but not as stuck-up anymore. “This team is in charge of taking apart the crime scenes, trying to find clues to Stray Kids’ identities, their intentions, next target and so on.”

 

In here, the air is different. Lots of talking too but everything seems more formal, more organised. Instead of a common room, like in the battle team’s facilities, Chan and Woojin find themselves in a hallway. Beyond glass walls lies office after office. All look the same. All are designed to harbour five people. Two pairs of spacious desks are pushed together, facing each other, and one desk at the far side of the room, oriented towards the middle of the room. The back of the room is always filled up with cabinets. Most rooms are occupied though Chan can spot an empty desk here and there. Further down the hallway, they find a few empty offices, a little kitchen, just like the one near the battle team’s roams, and a couple of conference facilities. At the very end of the hallway there is a separate office, the only one not framed by glass. On the door, there is a metal plate with “Corporal Lee” engraved into it.

 

“This is the Corporals Office,” The Lance corporal explains. “A little warning: Don’t take her words at face value.”

 

Don’t take her words at face value? A frown appears on Chan’s face. He is about to speak up when he feels Woojin’s hand on his arm, silently holding him back.

 

“Why?” Woojin sounds confused, but calm. Much calmer than Chan could have been. “She’s in charge of this division, one would think she knows what she’s talking about.”

 

For the first time since they met him, Lance Corporal Tuan does something like laughing. “She sits in that office because her father is the Lieutenant of the supreme guard.” While Chan and Woojin are still trying to come to terms with this statement, the Lance Corporal knocks at the door then opens it without waiting for a reaction. Right next to the door is a desk, behind it a young woman with wavy, brown hair. Dark brown doe eyes fix them with a frown when they step in.

 

“Come in,” The woman nags. “But the Corporal is currently in a meeting with Sergeant Park.” Chan takes a look around the spacious office. There is another, slightly bigger desk directly opposite from the door. The seat is indeed empty. In the far corner of the room there was a little sitting area, a cream-colored leather sofa surrounding a light grey coffee table on three sides. The rest of the room is mostly filled with cabinets, just like the other offices. Though this office is framed by proper walls, providing more privacy than glass panes plastered with opaque plastic film.

 

“When is she going to be back?” No sooner than Lance Corporal Tuan says this does the door swing open behind them.

 

“Right now.” When they turn around, the blond woman from two days ago in the investigation room is standing in the door frame. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get to introduce myself the last time.” She extends her hand towards Chan, shakes his hand. “Corporal Lee Siyeon.” After a small moment she turns towards Woojin. “I see, the Lieutenant has taken my suggestion into consideration and is letting you have a tour around our facilities?”

 

“That was your idea?”  Woojin wonders out loud while shaking the Corporal’s hand.

 

“Yes, if you two are going to work with us, we can’t order a supervision for you at all times.”

 

“Yeah, that would be quite complicated.” The Corporal gives them a discrete smile before closing the door behind her and seating herself at her desk.

 

“What have you seen so far?”

 

“A lot of hallways…” Chan admits. “Lance Corporal Tuan wanted to show us the rooms of the battle team but they…”

 

“They don’t agree with our guests and your idea to let them walk our department as they please.” The Lance Corporal explains. His voice is cold, sharp. Chan thought he was used to that, but this is different. For a moment, silence falls over the room and a strange sort of tension fills the air. Corporal Lee takes in a steady breath before continuing.

 

“The battle team, as everyone in the DIT is to obey the Lieutenant’s commands. Have you talked to Sergeant Park? He needs to-”

 

“No.” Lance Corporal Tuan shows no sign wanting to add any sort of explanation, or the like. He just stares at Corporal Lee.

 

“Then I will do that.” The Corporal declares, already rising from her seat.

 

“That’s really not necessary.” Chan tries to intervene. Corporal Lee and Lance Corporal Tuan both glare at him. With all the eyes staring at him now, he can’t help but feel reminded of the situation with the battle team. At least now, it isn’t entirely his fault, the situation had been tense even before he spoke up. “I’m sure the battle team just needs some more time. It’s a difficult situation after all.”

 

Silence. The Lance Corporal rolls his eyes. The Corporal sighs. “If it makes you feel better,” She speaks in a surprisingly calm voice, considering the strained air. “I will talk to Corporal Kim first. I’m sure he will take the necessary steps.”

 

“Thank you, I don’t want him to get into trouble.”

 

Corporal Lee nods towards Chan before directing her attention at Lance Corporal Tuan again. “Show them around the remaining department. You can illustrate what the rooms of the battle team look like without seeing them, can’t you?”

 

“Certainly, Corporal Lee.” The Lance Corporal’s voice sounds sickeningly sweet when he replies. Afterwards he turns around and exits the room without another word, leaving Chan and Woojin and quickly say their goodbye and rush after him.

 

 

[-]

 

After being showed around the neat rooms of the investigation team and the nearby laboratory, Chan and Woojin follow Lance Corporal Tuan towards another set of three large doors. Chan would have thought that they walked in a circle and were going to give the battle team another chance to test whether looks can actually kill, if it wasn’t for the word “safety team” on the middle door.

 

“This is the safety team.” The Lance Corporal explains, enlightening as always. “We are responsible for keeping the DIT and everyone at and around the crime scene safe. Oh. And apparently we are also the ones babysitting the prisoners.” He pushes the doors open and leads them into a gathering room, which looks a lot like that of the battle team, maybe a bit smaller.

 

“Welcome to our staging area.” A lot of people turn around. Some glare. But it’s nothing like their experience with the battle team. “Here, we meet for roll calls or when Corporal Kim gives us instructions.” Chan looks around the room and the people when the Lance Corporal interrupts him with a growled “You can get to know everyone in your own time. Let’s go.”

 

A bit disappointed, Chan and Woojin follow Lance Corporal Tuan through a door at the side into something that looks like a sports hall. There are a couple of people hanging out there, some doing sports. On three sides, the walls are studded with doors.

 

“This is our training area.”

 

“Where do these doors le-“ Chan gets cut off when sirens started blaring.

 

“Fuck!” Lance Corporal Tuan curses. Yellow blinking fills the room. “You two have to get out of here!” He commands while grabbing Chan and Woojin by the arms and dragging them towards the door. “Hurry, come on!”

 

“What’s going on?” Woojin yells over the siren while running after the Lance Corporal who is suddenly rushing ahead of them, through one of the large doors. More and more people start running out if the room.

 

“They’re attacking again!” They reach a larger hallway. It’s a mess. People rush into different directions. Some already armed. Ready to march out.

 

Noise. Blaring. Blinking.

 

The Lance Corporal apparently spots a familiar face because he grabs them by the arms again and pulls them through the stream of soldiers towards a tall man more or less pressed against the wall.

 

“Investigation team?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Take them home.”

 

Chan and Woojin are pushed in front of the man and gone is Lance Corporal Tuan. The man’s eyes are wide, but he nods towards the retreating figure before mumbling “Follow me.”, giving them a little smile and turning around. Together, they push through the crowd around them. Chan feels like suffocating in this mess. Too many bodies, too much of a rush, too much noise, too much everything. He almost loses track of their new supervisor if it wasn’t for Woojin getting a firm hold of Chan’s hand and dragging him along, pulling him out of the herd.

 

Deep breaths fill Chan’s chest when they finally turn into a smaller, empty hallway. They run towards the massive door at the end. The man who’s leading them pushes it open in a hurry and holds it open for them before putting his whole body weight into shutting the heavy door. Silence spreads. Nothing but their slightly laboured breaths and the almost inaudible blaring of sirens. When Chan looks around, he finds them on a familiar spacious mezzanine.

 

“My name is Taehyung, by the way,” Their guide mumbles after a moment. “Private Kim, Unit A, Investigation Team.” He stands up straight and gives them a faint smile. “I’m sorry things were so rushed, but during an attack the Battle and Safety Team have to hurry to the crime scene. That doesn’t leave much space for taking care of anything or anyone else.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” Woojin smiles as well. “I’m just glad we’re out of that yellow hell.”

 

“Agreed. I thought the DIT would be a bit more… orderly.” After standing up straight, Chan finally has the chance to get a proper look at Private Kim. He’s a good bit taller than Woojin, has tan skin, slightly messy dark brown hair and a handsome, friendly-looking face.

 

“Usually we are,” Private Kim argues while holding Chan’s gaze with a smile. “But attacks are always an exception. Anyways, we have to get the two of you back into your apartment. Please follow me.” He starts walking again, along the mezzanine, towards the stairs leading down into the entrance hall of the headquarters. They quickly inform one of the Ladies at the front desk of their departure before heading out of the enormous building.

 

 

[-]

 

 

The ride is filled with some small talk and lots of silence. It’s awkward but at least Taehyung, who insisted to be called by his first name, doesn’t seem to hate them. Contrary to the entire Battle Team. Except for its Corporal maybe. That makes two people in the entire DIT. Chan guesses it’s not that bad considering that everyone in the Division was set on hunting them until only a few days ago.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Taehyung is standing in the door frame, watching as Chan and Woojin take off their coats. The corners of his mouth twitch upwards the slightest bit when Chan looks at him.

 

“No, it’s okay. You’re going to have a lot to do.”

 

“Okay then…” Taehyung looks around the entrance area for a moment before apparently spotting what he was searching for. He steps up to the little cabinet near the door, grabs a pen and piece of paper from the small notepad and starts scribbling something down. “There, now you have my number. If anything is the matter, don’t hesitate to call me. Goodbye, you two.”

 

Neither Chan nor Woojin gets the chance to react before Taehyung waves at them and is already out of the door. Chan stands frozen for a moment before kicking off his shoes and peeling off his coat on the way into the living room. Woojin follows soon, finding Chan in front of the TV, staring at the news.

 

“They’re robbing another bank.” Chan mutters, more to himself than to Woojin.

 

“Are they for real?” Woojin sits down next to Chan. The TV is blaring the sound of sirens, the same sirens that had been filling their ears just some minutes ago. Armored DIT vans are cramped behind the hastily affixed caution tape.

 

“I’m sorry you have to see this.” Woojin wishes he could do anything to help Chan. Surely, Lux would be able to provide Chan some comfort. But since Lux not being here with them is a huge part of Chan’s problem, Woojin will have to come up with something by himself.

 

“Chan, do you…” Chan doesn’t react in the least, just stares ahead as though hypnotized by the TV. His body is tense, bent forward, elbows digging into his thighs, jaw set, brows furrowed.

 

Woojin sighs quietly. “I’m going to get us something to drink.” Even in the kitchen, he can hear all the noise and the panicked voice of the reporter explaining what his going on. Woojin tries to ignore it, though it gets harder the louder the ruckus gets. He takes a deep breath while searching the kitchen cabinets for cups. This new kitchen is still way too big and confusing to him.

 

Eventually, he finds the right shelf, takes two cups and fills them with water. Woojin doesn’t notice the silence in their apartment until he comes back into the living room and finds the TV switched off. Chan is slumped back into the couch, his gaze fixed to the floor.

 

“What happened?” Woojin sets the cups down on the table and crouches down on the floor next to Chan. It takes a moment until Chan looks at them.

 

“They escaped.”


	5. Back to black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I've been doing some planning lately to try and get a concrete chronology. I hope that'll help me in the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter^^

“Good afternoon, Jungah-noona," Hyunjin greets the nurse at the counter "How are the twins, still in the dinosaur phase?”

 

She lifts her gaze from the form she is checking and looks at him with a smile. “Hey, Hyunjin. Sadly no, they’re into space stuff now.”

 

“Do you have any big carton boxes around here? Bring one home, you’ll be their hero.” Hyunjin chuckles when Jungah raises her brow at him in confusion. “They can build a rocket from that.”

 

“You’re a genius!” She mumbles, smiling brightly at the thought of her kids playing with their home-made rocket.

 

“Can the genius get a vase please?” Hyunjin lifts the bouquet in his hands so Jungah can see it.

 

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” She briefly disappears into the staff room and comes back with a vase. “Here you go, she’s in room 13.”

 

“Thank you.” Hyunjin smiles while puts the bouquet into the vase and takes it from Jungah’s hands. They say their goodbye before Hyunjin makes his way through the sickeningly familiar hallways.

 

Hyunjin knocks on the door, waiting, shewing at his bottom lip. Standing in front of a patient’s room is always unnerving no matter how often he’s been here. A quiet “Come on in.” reaches him through the wooden door. He looks down at the flowers in his hand and nods to himself before entering the small room. Yeji is sitting on the bed cross-legged and has her laptop balanced on the bunched up blanket. Her face falls a little when she realises it’s Hyunjin.

 

“Who told you that I’m here?”

 

“Hello to you too,” Hyunjin sighs. “Chaeryeong did.” He sets the vase on the nightstand next to Yeji’s bed. Suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands, Hyunjin stuffs them into his pockets and looks at Yeji with a frown. “Why didn’t you want me to know that you were hospitalized again?”

 

It’s easy to tell Yeji doesn’t want to have this conversation. But Hyunjin feels like this is something that has to be settled.

 

“The others totally overreacted. I have a bit of back pain and they rush me to the hospital.”

 

“Better safe than sorry.”

 

“Oh shut up, I’m sick of that sentence already.” They look at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. Yeji eventually puts her laptop aside and pats the bed in front of her. Hyunjin sits down, feeling a bit more at ease when he sees Yeji smile. Her face softens a little while she looks at Hyunjin.

 

“I’m sorry… Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.”

 

“How long do you have to stay, Jiji?”

 

“The doctors just wanted to keep me here for observation, they’ll probably let me go home tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll come and get you, okay?”

 

“Aye, aye Captain.” Yeji salutes before breaking into a giggling when she sees Hyunjin rolling his eyes at her. Another knock at the door interrupts them and has them sigh in unison before Yeji chimes her usual “Come on in!” again.

 

The door swings open and Jisu peaks into the room. “Hey, Yeji! Oh, Hyunjin, nice to see you again!”

 

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” For a damn good reason, Hyunjin adds in his thoughts. He really doesn’t want to meet Yeji’s friends since they all decided to fight for “justice”

 

“How are you feeling? Is your back okay?” Jisu drops her handbag onto the table by the window and takes a seat on the chair standing near it.

 

“Everything is alright, just like I told all of you.”

 

“One can never be careful enough,” She reasons. “A propos being careful… Starting tomorrow, I’m officially a member of the safety team!”

 

Hyunjin’s heart stops. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Yeji throwing him a quick glance before looking at Jisu again. Faintly, he can hear Yeji congratulating Jisu on her new position in the DIT, but it’s all just background noise to him.

 

“Do you already know who you will be responsible for?” His own voice sounds foreign to him. It surprises him that he is able to look Jisu in the eyes.

 

“I was lucky, they respected my wish and sorted me into the division in charge of Stray Kids.”

 

No. No no no no no. Please no, this can’t be true. Jisu’s bright smile makes Hyunjin want to scream. Thankfully, Yeji decides to pull Jisu over to the bed and hug her to direct her attention away from Hyunjin.

 

“Please be careful,” Yeji speaks under her breath while looking at her brother.

 

 

 

[-]

 

 

Felix’s heart feels heavy while he stares at the ceiling. He tries his best to drown out his annoying thoughts with music, but it’s useless. Chris fills his mind. It’s torture. Felix knows he’s being cruel to himself. He should be distracting himself, reading, gaming, anything to keep his mind away from Chris. But he can’t. It all feels wrong. So here he is – wallowing in misery and drowning in his thoughts.

 

_“Do you really think this is safe?” Felix stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat and sped up a bit to catch up on Chris._

_“Why wouldn’t it be? As long as we don’t act like a couple, it shouldn’t be a problem.” Chris smirked while looking down at Felix’s full pockets. “It’s too cold for hand holding anyways.”_

_“Where are we even going?”_

_“Wait and see_ ~”

 

_Their walk was filled with chatter, which was a relief. In private, they talked about their mission a lot. As important as it was, it was also exhausting. Now, in public, talking about the mission wasn’t possible. It didn’t seem to matter either. Out here, they almost felt like a normal couple._

_Chris was talking about the soccer game that had been on TV the night before. He went on and on describing how one of the teams managed to score a goal. Even though Felix was interested in the content as well his focus shifted more and more to the sound. He loved listening to Chris’ voice. It had something soothing to it, like a fresh cup of coffee that warmed your entire body up from the inside. The smile on Chris’ face added to it. Felix could watch him all day._

_“Are you thinking about me?” Felix got pulled out of his thoughts. Chris had his head cocked to the side and was chuckling as he watched Felix’s mind finding its way back into reality. “We’re there, Sweetie.”_

_For a moment, Felix was so distracted by the jump his heart made that he didn’t even notice they had stopped walking. He pried his gaze away from Chris and looked around. In front of them was a small but beautiful park. The narrow path had been ploughed sloppily. Tall trees and small bushes protruded out of the thick blanket of snow, though their dark branches could barely be seen underneath the white piles gathering on top of them. Together with the heavy snowflakes, it looked like a small world of its own. As though they had entered a life-sized snow globe._

_“I love coming here, especially in the winter.” Chris pulled him forward by the hand, along the path. “It’s like all the bad things in this world fade for a while. Sounds cliché, doesn’t it?”_

_A little laugh fell from Chris’ lips and Felix’s heart did another small jump. Sometimes he wondered how Chris did that, how the smallest things he did had Felix weak in the knees and overflowing with feelings for his boyfriend._

_“No, it sounds beautiful…” Before Felix knew it, he was spacing out again. Chris was smiling, his full lips curled up at the edges. His eyes looked so beautiful, they were a comforting dark brown that never ceased to draw Felix in. He could get lost in all the details that made Chris forever. Chris was just too mesmerizing._

_Felix gasped when cold whiteness hit his face. His brain froze, but Chris' laugh made him realise what had happened._

_"Just you wait," he choked out while Chris fled from him. Felix leaned down, balled his fist around a bunch of snow and threw, but only hit Chris' shoulder. Chris held his shoulder as though he had been wounded while sinking down to the ground. Felix made the mistake of coming closer, which was promptly rewarded with a cloud of snow hitting his face._

_The brief moment of irritation helped Chris run away. Felix dashed after him but quickly had to realise that Chan was foo fast for him. He crouched down and started forming another snow ball. The next attack hit him in the back. A bit of the snow got into his collar, making Felix screech at the cold. Chris' laugh filled Felix's ears once more._

_Felix turned around and threw his ball, which crashed into the tree Chris used as his hiding place. Chris was laughing with his whole body and holding his stomach. A smirk spread over Felix's face as he sprung to his feet, ran towards Chris, tackled him to the ground. They nearly disappeared in the snow. Chris tried to defend himself but Felix was quick to drop a handful of snow into his face._

_What Felix didn't expect was that even like this, Chris was a worthy opponent. Before Felix knew what was happening, a leg hooked around his body and he was pulled to the ground. Suddenly Chris straddled his waist and pinned his hands and feet to the ground._

_They were both smiling, both panting. Their breaths formed little clouds that mingled and became one in the bit of space between their bodies. Felix met Chris halfway when the latter leaned down to kiss him. Even in the cold, Chris' lips were warm. Chris' hands wandered from Felix's wrists to his hands and he let his fingers slip in between Felix's fingers._

_He should have been freezing but Felix just felt warm. Everywhere Chris touched, everywhere they were near, heat seeped into Felix's body. His lips chased after Chris' when their kiss broke. Their gazes locked. A warm glow filled Chris' eyes as he scanned Felix's face._

_"Are you okay?" Chris whispered._

_"Yeah..."  He brushed a few strands of wet hair out of Felix's vision._

_"We should get up from the ground, I don't want you to catch a cold." He leaned down and placed a long kiss on Felix's forehead. In that moment Felix knew that nobody else had ever loved him the way Chris did._

 

Tears roll down Felix's cheeks. They feel hot against his cold skin, as though they are trying to burn him alive. He wipes them away but more and more tears just keep and keep coming. His heart feels heavy as it lazily beats in his chest.

 

Felix doesn't realise when the sadness turns into anger, he just suddenly knows that he needs to let it out. Not bothering to wipe off the tears anymore he gets up, leaves his room, makes his way down the hallway, down the stairs, into the basement where B’s ridiculously rich family has a fitness and wellness area. It's a good thing nobody comes across Felix because he really wouldn't have wanted to talk to anyone right now.

 

Without any preparations, Felix strides towards the nearest punching bag and plants his fist into it. "I hate this plan," sounds through his head again and again with every punch. I hate this plan. I hate this plan. I hate this plan!

 

 

[-]

 

 

Minho stops right in the doorframe when he sees his brother. The way Felix beats the punching bag has nothing to do with training. Felix doesn't try to practice certain moves or find combinations, he doesn't include kicks or avoiding attacks. He just punches the living hell out of this bag.

 

“Felix?”

 

“What?!”

 

Felix stops and stares at Minho. His face is twisted in anger. Minho takes a deep breath before approaching him. “Lix, please calm down.”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Because we need to talk.”

 

Silence. Just the sound of Felix’s laboured breaths. He stares at Minho and eventually nods. “Come on,” Minho mumbles before turning around and walking down the hallway, towards the staircase. Felix follows close behind him. The tension stays, even when they reach Felix’s room. Minho slowly heads over to the bed and sits down; he pats the mattress next to him but Felix stays right by the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

“Why are you this upset?”

 

“You really have to ask?!”

 

Minho sighs. Right now, it’s like saying the right thing is impossible. Felix is on edge. Usually Minho would just leave him to it and wait until the anger subsides, but they’re on a mission which means just waiting isn’t an option.

 

“This isn’t just about Nine, is it? He’s been gone for a while now, why did you snap now?” Felix’s gaze drops to the floor, his arms going limb and sinking down to the sides of his body. “Come on. Talk to me.”

 

“I…” He walks over to the bed and lets himself fall next to his brother. For quite a while, Felix stays quiet and just gazes at the remains of snow on the branches of the tree that’s standing close to his window.

 

“Do you think Doyeon is doing well at home?” Felix doesn’t meet Minho’s gaze, just keeps looking outside.

 

Minho gulps. So that’s what this is about? “Why are you thinking about her?”

 

“Today I remembered that… On her birthday, Nine noticed that something was wrong with me so he tried his best to distract me. We went for a walk in a park and played in the snow…” Suddenly Felix shakes his head as if trying to get rid of the memory. “We’re getting off topic.”

 

“Of course Doyeon is fine, why wouldn’t she be?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe because Mom and Dad are homophobic idiots?”

 

“She’ll be fine if she’s straight,” Minho mumbles. “Or as long as she can pass for straight. Depends.”

 

“Hyung, I’m serious.” Finally, Felix turns to look at Minho. “We haven’t seen her in ages. And she’s alone with our parents.”

 

“Your parents,” Minho corrects him. For a while they both stay silent. It’s kind of tense. Their father has always been a sensitive topic, even before they ran away from home. Since they left, this has been all the more obvious. Not that Felix can blame him.

 

“You know best what it’s like…” Felix comes closer and leans his head against Minho’s shoulder. “I’m scared dad is going to make her life hell just like he did with you…”

 

 

[-]

 

 

When he gets sick of staring at the ceiling, Chan gets out of his bed. He can’t sleep. He just can’t. His head is a mess which isn’t surprising after everything that happened today. He’s all alone with his thoughts – a horrible situation.

 

Chan trudges into the kitchen. He tries his best to be quiet, doesn’t switch on any lights. Because of Woojin, he tells himself. Not because he feels more comfortable in darkness right now.

 

He pours himself a glass of water and sits down at the table near the window. Today is a lot to process with the tour through the DIT and its sudden end. Stray Kids have robbed a second bank and escaped in one piece. If that can even be said now that there are only seven of them…

 

Chan stops himself. The thoughts are still too painful. Instead, he starts thinking about Corporal Lee and Lance Corporal Tuan. “Don’t take her words at face value.” How come the Corporal’s reputation is that bad? To the point that people who don’t even work with her think it’s necessary to warn people about her. Is it really just because of who her father is? What makes everyone so sure that he’s the only reason his daughter made it to Corporal? Is it because she’s a woman? Or is there maybe something personal between Corporal Lee and Lance Corporal Tuan?

 

 

[-]

 

 

Step after step after step. So Chan is awake too. As usual. Woojin often takes a long time to fall asleep but eventually he does. It seems to be different for Chan. He doesn’t sleep at all if the footsteps and switched on lights the last few nights are anything to go by. The bags under Chan’s eyes are getting more obvious too. It worries Woojin if he’s completely honest. Proper rest is important, especially in a situation like this…

 

Turning around in his bed, Woojin’s gaze falls onto the door to his room. He starts to frown when he notices the lack of light behind it. Why didn’t Chan switch on the light? After a bit of hesitation Woojin gets up and leaves his room. Just like the hallway, the living room is empty. He eventually finds his cohabitant, a dark silhouette by the kitchen table.

 

 

[-]

 

 

“You were right,” Chan mumbles when he hears Woojin’s footsteps stop in the door frame. “Our apartment **is** beautiful. It really is. Everything looks so different at night. Especially the living room and the kitchen.”

 

Woojin ignores this statement and takes a seat on the dining bench next to Chan who avoids his gaze. “Why are you awake?”

 

“I could ask you the same.” Please leave it be. Please leave it be. Please leave it be.

 

“I take a long time falling asleep. What about you?” Of course he doesn’t leave it be. Chan doesn’t really want to talk about it. Or maybe he does. What he doesn’t want is to burden Woojin and make him feel obliged to help.

 

“I’m not really a person who sleeps a lot.”

 

“You don’t seem to sleep at all from what I’ve noticed.” Woojin’s voice is calm but firm, leaving no space for excuses and lies. He wants to know the truth.

 

“I do sleep but… very little,” Chan admits. “I’m not used to sleeping alone, it’s even harder to fall asleep like this.”

 

“Have you tried taking sleeping pills?”

 

 “I don’t like them.” Silence. Woojin would like to have an explanation. Chan figures that it can’t hurt. “I tried but the side effects are… well…”

 

“Then what do you usually do when you can’t sleep?”

 

“Cuddling with Lux…” Chan tries his best to hold back the tears fighting to break free as soon as he thinks of the nights spent with Felix. He doesn’t want to cry in front of Woojin. Not again. He’s already cried so much in front of him. Even though Woojin knows exactly what’s going on, Chan feels like he should have himself under control more.

 

“I’m not Lux, but maybe I can still help?” Woojin’s voice is low and his face gentle when Chan looks up at him. Silently, Woojin opens his arms a bit. For a moment Chan hesitates, but then he swallows his pride and turns towards Woojin. Strong arms wrap around him and loosen the chain around his heart a little. Chan lets himself be pulled closer and leans his head against Woojin’s shoulder. Woojin radiates so much warmth, but it only touches Chan’s skin. His warmth fails to spread further inside Chan just like the dim moonlight can’t illuminate the kitchen.

 

“It hurts so much to be without him,” Chan chokes out.

 

“You love him a lot, don’t you?”

 

“I do…” And just like that, Chan’s resolve shatters into a million pieces.

 

 

[-]

 

 

Minho sighs when he’s alone in his own room. It hurts to see his brother suffer. Because of this plan, their mission. Whenever Minho wakes up at night and goes to the kitchen to get himself some water he passes by Felix’s room. More often than not Minho can hear quiet sniffling from behind the door. Felix is a mess. Minho wonders if he sleeps at all.

 

Somehow Minho feels guilty for what Felix has to go through. Even though that’s ridiculous. This isn’t his fault. He has nothing to do with Felix’s feelings. And Felix knew exactly what he was getting himself into the entire time. He got too attached to Nine despite knowing the plan. It’s not like Minho could have prevented that.

 

Yet here they are, Felix being heartbroken and Minho feeling guilty about not being able to help.

 

 

[-]

 

 

“Upon the conduct of each…” Sergeant Park starts the roll call.

 

“… depends the fate of all,” Chan, Woojin and everyone else in the room replies. It’s weird, for Chan and Woojin at least, but seems to be completely normal for all of the soldiers present.

 

“Good morning everybody.” The Sergeant greets his division with a stern voice before getting to business. “The portfolio all of you received was created with the help of Bang Chan and Kim Woojin. It contains all information we have gathered on the remaining members of Stray Kids. All of you are expected to study it closely. We must be sure that every single one of us is best prepared.”

 

Chan stares at the portfolio in his lap. It starts with more or less detailed profiles of J.One and Spear B with the information Chan gave the DIT as well as all already existing files concerning Han Jisung and Seo Changbin. It is followed by, comparatively brief, descriptions of the remaining members and an analysis of the group dynamic.

 

“Please pick up the pictures at the back of your portfolios now.” Rustling fills the up until now quiet room. Everyone starts looking at the stack of pictures of the remaining members. “During the last attack, Stray Kids changed part of their disguise. The members Lee Know, J.One and Lux did not wear hoods as usual. They also seem to have dyed hair.” Lee Know’s hair is a light, reddish brown. J.One and Lux both got themselves dark blonde hair and a rather similar haircut. It’s easy to confuse them for somebody who doesn’t know which masks belongs to who. “We suspect that this change is supposed to mark them as the new leaders.”

 

 

[-]

 

 

Chan takes a look at the door, makes sure that it’s locked before taking off his backpack. He pulls his shirt over his head and drops it onto the washing machine in the corner of their bathroom. From this distance, he looks at himself in the mirror. His gaze inevitably gets stuck on his by now faded, grown-out silver hair.

 

They seem to have dyed their hair…

 

Sighing, Chan crouches down, opens his backpack and pulls out the dye he bought on his way home. He puts on the gloves, prepares the dye and approaches the basin.

 

The new leaders…

 

He leans closer towards the mirror and starts spreading the dye on his hair. More and more until everything is covered. Chan wonders what Lux looks like with blond hair. He thinks of the picture in the portfolio and tries to erase the mask. Lux looked cute with his naturally dark hair. It’s difficult trying to imagine him with a light hair colour, but the image that is formed by Chan’s mind looks… beautiful…

 

The alarm Chan had set goes off, ripping him out of his fantasies. Sighing, Chan leans down and starts rinsing the dye out of his hair. The image won’t leave his mind. Lux smiling, with dark blond hair and his beautiful freckles showing. Chan’s heart aches when he props himself up on his arms and looks up at the mirror, at his face framed by wet, raven black hair.


End file.
